Your "Girlfriend" Sylvia Plath, Marquez's Posthumous "Novel," and Hemingway "Invents" the Dollarita
Fake Literary News With a Twist of Lime
Hello, folks. Hopefully you are well-hydrated and building your summer reading lists.
In the meantime, today’s top story is the true origin story of the Applebee’s Dollarita. And yes, of course it involves Papa, Ernest Hemingway.
Other stories that might tickle your fancy are about the guy who keeps a photo of a young Sylvia Plath in his pocket, and the two greedy sons of Marquez plan on publishing more items the author never wanted to see the light of day.
Since nothing is out-of-bounds anymore, dear reader, here is the latest round of fake literary news.
"She lives in a different state..."
A local man who swears he has a girlfriend is keeping a photo of Sylvia Plath from 1952 in his wallet. The photo in question is of 'The Bell Jar' poet while a student at Smith College.
The man keeps calling her "his old sweetheart from back home" who does some "modeling."
It is unclear if the man knows who the photo is or not, but friends just go along with it and hope not to hurt his feelings. The saddest part about this whole charade is that he keeps telling his friends that he "can't wait until they meet her."
Not knowing what else to say, most friends just say they like her cool bangs.
Comer bien en el barrio!
It's that time, baby! The Dollarita is back. And to celebrate, Applebee's is using the original recipe made famous from all those nights Hemingway spent drinking at the famous Cuban Applebee's in Havana.
Actually, the daiquiri and mojito weren't Hemingway's drinks of choice...
In that very famous establishment, a sign written in Hemingway's own handwriting reads, "Mi mojito en La Bodeguita, mi daiquiri en El Floridita, mi dollarita en El Applebee's."
In fact, the "dollarita" originates here, where once Hemingway ordered a drink with nothing but about 20 Cuban pesos in his pocket. The barman couldn't give Hemingway his usual "doble" but gave him just enough to keep him straight enough to prevent him from wrecking the place and trying to sleep with everyone's wives.
That night, the Dollarita was born. Gracias, Papa.
1 oz tequila silver
.25 oz luxardo maraschino liqueur
.50 oz grapefruit fresh
.5 oz lime
Anything for a peso, I guess.
Going against their father's wishes, the sons of Gabriel Garcia Marquez will continue to publish things left behind by their deceased father, including an old to-do list, a note for the housekeeper, and some old Facebook messages.
The lost novel in question was an unpublished manuscript that Marquez had abandoned after the author claimed that the story "didn't work" while he was battling dementia in his final years.
Despite his intention that the novel never see the light of day, his sons decided to publish it (both the decision and the novel are getting mixed reviews) and anything else they could find laying around the house.
An old shopping list? Publish it.
A receipt with his signature? Publish it.
An angry email to the cable company? Publish it.
Rodrigo and Gonzalo defended their actions, saying "we decided to put his reader's pleasure ahead of all other considerations."
"That and things are really expensive now that dad isn't around."