A writer working on his first novel has done the impossible: he has just written an entire paragraph without referencing, referring to, or even looking at any websites!
These ideas are all his! Wow, writing is so cool!
Normally the writer has multiple tabs open to different wikis, encyclopedias, thesauruses, and websites of varying credibility, but this time it was just one straight shot from mind to document in Microsoft Word.
What was different this time? Well, for one, the internet wasn’t working, and the man wasn’t sure when that would be back up. It was either get something down now or wait until who knows when.
Second, since there was no wifi, the man wasn’t distracted by the various alerts, inbox messages, and updates that he normally gets when working on his laptop.
As a result, his mind was unable to wander where it normally does, so he wasn’t checking the score, reading inflammatory posts on Facebook, or going down weird rabbit holes of trivial information regarding his favorite TV shows.
As a result, his mind was unable to wander where it normally does, so he wasn’t checking the score, reading inflammatory posts on Facebook, or going down weird rabbit holes of trivial information regarding his favorite TV shows.
Oh yeah, no internet means no porn, too.
There he was, hyper-focused and intent on getting his ideas on the page…his thoughts naturally coming to him without a barrage of intrusions, interruptions, or interferences.
He didn’t even play the Dinosaur Game once!
The writer is being hailed by some as a “true author,” and will probably be receiving his official invitation into the profession guild within the next few weeks.
Publishing deals are next.
There might also be talks of a Pulitzer.
“I couldn’t believe it,” said the man. “The words were flowing and I just kept on typing. I felt like one of those classic authors using one of those old-timey typewriter things.”
“Move over, Mark Twain.”
When the internet did finally come back on, the man put his draft to the side and naturally had to masturbate three or four times immediately to make up for the lost time and because he owed it to himself.
He then read a few local news stories, played an hour of QWOP, and then looked at some statistics of his favorite baseball player who retired a few years ago.
But that paragraph! There it sat in Word, pure and untouched by the outside world. He kept clicking back to it, like a new dad who can’t get enough of his new son through that big window in the infant ward. He gleamed with pride.
He thought to meddle with it, but no, it was perfect—it contained everything he wanted to say, unassisted from computer science, search engines or databases. He felt like Bernard Max at the end of Brave New World for a moment, an outsider living in the Falkland Islands.
He stands starting at the laptop, unable to step away even for a moment lest the paragraph run away from him, like some scared creature he is trying to protect.
He shakes his head in disbelief.
“Turns out I have some pretty creative and original ideas when I’m not being constantly bombarded with information. Can’t wait to try that again.”