What is it called when a digital marketing company leaves one of its copywriters in a grain silo in the middle of nowhere?
Working from a silo.
Um, yes, but that term is usually not applied so literally. Usually, it means an individual or an insular team working without sharing ideas with other departments within a company.
But in this situation, the writer is just stuck in a silo and trying to email the project manager or another member of his team to let them know that he locked himself in here somehow.
Working in a silo from a silo.
It all went down after OneIMS, a digital marketing company in Chicago, IL scored a big contract with Buhler at AgriExpo to advertise their newest grain silos.
Before they could properly help market these new and improved silos (the hopes that a new advertising campaign would help them crush the competition like a flax seed), the marketing team was going to tour the facility and learn about the product.
Their copywriter wanted to get inside one of these grain silos so that he could learn more about them before writing some advertising concepts to help articulate brand messaging.
But the door latched behind him. Whoops.
"I usually like to interact with the product during the brainstorming process," the writer said in a stifled muffle, as we put our ears up against the reinforced steel. "My words are echoing so I'm not sure if you can hear me," he continued.
"But if you can hear me, please let my team know that I am still in here and can't get out," he chuckled embarrassingly.
We didn't do that. Instead, we wanted to learn more about silo manufacturing, so we caught up with the rest of the team as representatives from Buhler continued their tour with the more meaningful employees of OneIMS.
Besides, we were hoping we could get our hands on some of that sweet “Big Ag” merch. A bunch of the workers here were rocking Buhler dad hats, and we were hoping to snag one.
Andy Sharpe, the new President and CEO of Buhler Inc. North America, continued the tour. He talked about his company's new corrugated steel storage bins and how they are more sanitary than their leading competitors. The marketing strategist mentioned that “fucking Steve should be here getting this,” and we assumed he was talking about the guy locked in the silo back there.
We kept our mouth shut. As journalists, it is not our job to get involved with our subjects and we must stay dispassionate and emotionless. It's the only way to stay objective. Plus, we had a feeling we were getting closer to the freebies.
We wondered, after the tour would Sharpe start tossing hats like frisbies to the crowd? Maybe a leather bound portfolio or some messenger bags? Would he start launching XXXL Buhler logo shirts out of a cannon like at a minor league hockey game?
The thought of going home with even a free pen excited us. Then we could sort out that annoying copywriter stuck in the grain silo.
When I caught back up with the group, Sharpe was lining up a bunch of golf carts to take us to a remote location on the property to showcase their custom-built flat storage systems. Then there would be lunch, open bar.
Now would probably be the time to mention Stuck Steve in the grain silo.
But still, we said nothing.
But we are not totally compassionless.
So we went back to the silo just to check on the guy. You know, make sure there is air flow in there.
We banged on the reinforced wall and were blown away by the quality. Steve should probably mention the walls in his copy."Hey, Steve. You good dude?"
We heard some faint rustling, like someone falling down a cascade of grain and corn, and then heard crawling.
"Hey," he said panting. "Any luck getting me out of here."
"The group is just going to finish up with the flat storage system silos and then a demonstration with the PreMa app. Guess you can control temperatures from a phone or Ipad. Pretty cool, actually."
"Yeah, I was actually just looking that feature up, you know, in between trying to get a signal so I could contact my project manager..." he trailed. "Or you could just let him know that I'm in here."
"Yeah, not so sure we should do that. Journalistic integrity. As a fellow writer, you understand."
"Yeah, I get it. I did some work for my local newspaper before I scored this gig."
There was a long silence between us. He broke it.
“But aren’t you kind of being subjective now that you’ve included yourself into the story?”
“Um…”
"You can't just like, accidentally unlock the door or something?"
"Oh no, can't do that,” we answered. “That might violate the ethical code of journalism or something."
"Yeah, yeah, you're right. On the bright side, I'm getting so much done in here without any distractions. Being stuck in here has really inspired me. I've already written the whole marketing plan, and even the first few advertisements, and dig this, I even started up my old novel from college again. Super productive, really."
"So you're good?" we asked.
"Well, I would love to see the PreMa app demonstration for the first press release..."
"Yeah, but that's not happening. I'm sure the group has already pulled away by now..."
"Yeah. Hmmm...."
"But hey, maybe one of the workers will stop by and get you out of here at some point."
"Yeah, I hope. I have a cat I need to feed."
"Hmmm, that's tough. Well, if they give away some free hats at the end, we'll grab you one."
"Aw, you will? Thanks, man."
"Sure thing, bro. We writers gotta stick together."