In her most devious act as “queen” of Narnia since the Long Winter, Jadis, the White Witch, has made her world famous Turkish Delights with and without gluten.
It’s up to Edmund Pevensie, who has a severe gluten allergy, to decide which is which.
Just one bite could quickly render her victim bloated and rash-ridden.
In an attempt to recompense for his past betrayal of his siblings, Edmund has volunteered two eat all two pounds of the sugared sweet. He does not want any of the creatures of Narnia, the most vulnerable are the satyrs and the marsh-wiggles (who both have celiac and are anemic).
While she was away for 900 years in the Wild Lands of the North, Jadis, the self-declared Queen of Charn, has bid her time and gathered her forces for a large-scale attack on Aslan and the world of Narnia.
She was also slaving away in the kitchen, developing and perfecting her signature dessert, an easy and extremely tasty recipe for lokum, or Turkish delights.
Does she have the ability to create one that is gluten-free? Of course. But what would be the fun in that?
Her recipe for the delicately chewy treat uses dates, pistachios, hazelnuts, walnuts, and dried coconut meat. The secret to their deliciousness is that Jadis uses cream of tartar for the frosting.
Her recipe for the delicately chewy treat uses dates, pistachios, hazelnuts, walnuts, and dried coconut meat. The secret to their deliciousness is that Jadis uses cream of tartar for the frosting.
But things get really evil when she starts adding the wheat and barley, which will do absolutely nothing to alter the flavor but might help the treat maintain its shape.
The results are almost untraceable, the difference between the two dishes will also be undetectable.
Having already fallen victim to The White Queen and her dangerous dish once before, Edmund believes he has the chops to detect which dish is safe for all, and which will become a ticking time bomb for about 6% of the Narnian population.
At first he samples from each tray, timidly, aware of the potential danger to his small intestine. But after a few more bites, his gluttony takes over, and before anyone can stop him both trays have vanished quicker than a hunter chasing the White Stag.
Now upon his deathbed, he tries to signal which tray gave him the abdominal pain, headaches, and nonstop diarrhea.
He makes a move towards the trays, moving slowly as if made of stone. He reaches out but before he can, he falls victim to a quick and tragic case osteoporosis.
That witch! They both had water-insoluble proteins!