A library patron in Bellevue, NE moved his Libby application to his third page of apps on Wednesday, telling himself that he really isn’t “a big e-reader or audiobook guy.”
Suspiciously enough, the move comes after the man added several new apps to his homepage, among them, a new tip calculator, OXO game launcher, and Hinge.
Let’s not forget that the man also has several food delivery apps on the first and second page, among them Uber Eats, Grubhub, and DoorDash.
But yes, whatever you say, guy. You just don’t have time for books anymore.
The real tragedy comes off of the fact that for awhile there, him and Libby really had something going there. During COVID, the man was knocking out several e-books a week, and listening to an audiobook every time he was on his computer or working out in his makeshift gym.
Libby was his “go to girl,” even getting a higher billing than his ESPN, Ebay, and Facebook apps.
Libby was his “go to girl,” even getting a higher billing than his ESPN, Ebay, and Facebook apps.
But alas, life moves on, and the fate of the Libby app hangs on for life and hopes to avoid the fate of the Kindle app, which was banished years ago. The man didn’t just remove that from his app screens, no, he actually took the time to go in and find the app to delete it permanently.
The man has not decided to do a full delete yet because he is still holding out hope that when work calms down a little, he will be able to get back into it. Tell that to the unfinished Lincoln in the Bardo, which was hastily downloaded and never given a fair chance.
They can work it out, he feels. They just might be going through a rough patch right now.
His life is crazy, you understand: he’s in between apartments, his boss has been dangling a promotion over his head for weeks, and he’s been back on the dating scene. But don’t be jealous, he’s not out there looking for a soul mate or anything. Just testing the waters.
They mean nothing to me, really.
But wait, what’s this? He’s recently been creeping with his Hoopla app? That cheap whore!
Oh, so there’s no time to read but plenty of time to stream British shows like Murdoch Mysteries and Doc Martin, eh? No, I get it, really I do.
You would rather watch the “Penn & Teller Masterclass” video on the art of magic than spend a few minutes reading Orlando or The Age of Innocence, which have been on your shelf for months now. Fine, I don’t care!
Just don’t come crawling back when you realize I was the best thing on your miserable little phone.