The Purple Crayon, the Hounds of the Baskervilles, and Gatekeeping "Richard III"
A Roundup of Fake Literary News You Should Care About
Thanks for spending your day with us, dear reader. Bless your heart!
An English teacher being called out for wearing a Shakespeare t-shirt to school is today’s top story.
We are also checking in to see how Harold is using his purple crayon and reading the ASPCA’s position statement on the Hounds of Baskervilles. Let’s dig in, shall we?
Just seeing what Harold is doing…
Now a BDSM fetishizer, Harold couldn't remember where his house was, so he drew himself a nice house with a simple yet elegant sex dungeon in the basement. The little deviant drew the house without windows, said one visitor.
Harold couldn't remember if he liked bondage and discipline or dominance and discipline, so he drew himself a basement primarily for sadism and masochism.
The place was so big and so lonely, he redrew the very hungry moose and deserving porcupine...those two were going to get it and he was going to be the one who was going to give it to them.
Blame the breeder, not the breed.
Dog breeds were developed to perform a specific job, whether the job was hunting rabbits, herding livestock, or being a demonic entity from English folklore.
Concerning the Hound of Baskervilles, we cannot judge an entire breed of supernatural black dogs just because they have large glowing eyes or are connected to the devil. Yes, one of them savagely killed Sir Charles Baskerville, but we must evaluate and treat each dog as an individual.
While a dog's genetics may predispose him to being an omen of death, we must remember that genetics do not exist in a vacuum. Demonic dogs of many breeds--Dando's Dogs, Gabriel Hounds, and even the Moddey Dhoo--can become loving pets with proper care, training, and supervision.
An English teacher was spotted wearing a Shakespeare t-shirt during midterms this past week.
One of her AP students, who claims he is "super-into" Shakespeare's earlier stuff, immediately accosted the teacher and asked her to recite three entire monologues from the play. When the teacher could not, the student scoffed and called her a "wanton ambling nymph."
He then stood up on his desk and launched into the Duke of Buckingham's speech from Act 3, scene 4, demonstrating his sprawling, if not pointless, command of the play.
“I am to wait, though waiting so be hell...”
It’s nice knowing you, reader. We’ll see you down the road apiece.