Shakespeare Shares His Thoughts on Reading

Also, Famous Female Authors and Getting Spotted with a Book

Hello, everyone.

Y’all getting ready for the Olympics? Can’t believe I didn’t get a call-up for the break dancing team. I do a mean Webo and am known for my Reverse Bretzel, but whatevs, their loss.

Anyways, we have a productive day in the newsroom. Our top story involves Shakespeare’s opinion of people who read his plays.

Also, we investigate just how well these famous female authors held it together and report on the guy who practices his look in case he gets spotted reading in a cafe.

Ready?

***Back Step Over Switch into a Deadcat*** Let’s bodyrock.

Four of the most famous female authors held their shit together pretty well despite societal oppression. And don't forget about all the abusive men in their lives. Oh yeah, and fewer legal rights. Oh, less career opportunities, too.

Actually when you think about it, it's surprising these writers were able to be artistically productive whatsoever. 

It's not easy being the inferior gender and yet a source of sexual temptation while juggling a writing career.

And just imagine if they could have received support for their mental health.

Yes, we’d say they held it together pretty well despite the odds.

It's got to look authentic, dammit!

A man who is at some point hoping to be spotted reading at a cafe is practicing and hoping to perfect the "right look." He's a little self-conscious and just wants to make sure that he conveys the right attitude and looks cool while doing it.

He has already selected which prop book he will be perusing, but must perfect the right facial gestures and body language to convey full engagement and actual interest.

"Yes, would it be easier to just read the thing naturally while trying to enjoy my coffee? Probably, but I don't want to look like some sort of idiot while doing it."

Of course, if a friend happens to see him at a cafe reading, he risks getting mocked and made fun of regardless of how cool he looks.

What legacy.

William Shakespeare did not mince words when he found out that literature students and avid readers alike just sit around reading his plays.

"Wait, what? Are they a bunch of assholes or something?"

When it was explained that his plays are great works of literature and some of the most memorable works in the English language he was in disbelief.

"But they're plays. Emphasis on 'play.' Stand up and act them out."

But people like to read them, too, and the plays are widely published all around the world, second only to the likes of the Bible.

He scoffed. "I'm actually kind of ashamed because most of them are pretty embarrassing. Those were written just to make a few shillings, mate."