Rip-Off! This Nordic Noir Book Doesn't Even Have a Bleak Landscape or Morally Complex Mood!
It's Probably Just Some Shitty British Murder Mystery
During the long days of winter, sometimes you just want to make a cup of tea, curl up by the fire, and read about some cerebral lunatic killing innocent people in a serene, idyllic setting.
If this sounds like you, then you probably have dipped your toe into the latest thriller subgenre, Nordic noir.
But even in its short lifespan, there are certain tropes we've come to expect within the genre. Complex murder-mysteries, subtle and efficient writing, bleak, snowy forest-scapes...
And mood! It's all about mood.
So what happens when you pick up a book expecting dark, morally complex subject matter but it's all just so judgemental, straightforward and blah? You wanted tension between a quiet life out on frozen fjords and the seedy underbelly of the Reykjavik crime world but just got a milquetoast murder in broad daylight in the sunny countryside.
You are probably just reading a British murder-mystery, you noob!
Here's what you need to do.
1. Check the author. If you cannot read the author's name and are nervous to pronounce it out loud, it's Nordic Noir; bonus points if they have an O with a stroke through it. But if the author's name is "Longbottom" or some dumb bullshit, then it is just British.
2. Ask yourself, where is the setting? If you are confused, just look for these signs. Is it winter? Is there fishing? Are there snow capped mountains? If yes, you might be reading a Nordic Noir book. If someone takes a boat to visit a possible suspect, then yeah, it's probably set in Copenhagen or something, and you are on the right track. If anyone takes a car anywhere--call bullshit--and chuck that British piece of shit into the bin!
3. Ask, is there plain, no-judgement narration? The novel should basically read like it was written by a cyborg who lacks any sort of emotion or feeling for any of its characters. Actually, scratch that...if you get the feeling that the 3rd person narrator might actually be siding and somewhat sympathetic to the killer, then yeah, it was probably written by a “nordbor.” British authors are always so judgy.
4. As I said before it's all about mood, and Nordic noir needs that complex "not quite terror but certainly unsettling" vibe. It's all about the emotional response that you can get out of the reader, and the book usually hit a weird stride between turning the reader on and creeping them out to the point where they might not be able to forget what they read until they get blackout drunk on Aquavit.
And why such a disturbing emotional atmosphere? Because underneath the civil, sleepy small-town facade, there is some fucked up shit popping off underneath. The conflict is often often so brutal and dark that a prim and proper British author wouldn't even be able to come up with.
5. Does it have a weird tv show adaptation from a few years ago that you never heard of? Ok, this can be tricky because there's a ton of murder-mysteries on Netflix or Acorn TV that seem like they might be Nordic noir, but are actually just British. The show must have extremely unattractive actors (somehow even uglier than British actors) with messy hair and no makeup. All the heroes and detectives have baggage and questionable pasts, but they are able to put those demons aside just enough to solve the crime.
So if you are missing any of these things, it's actually not a Nordic noir, but probably just some cozy little British mystery where some old people mixed up their medications or something.