Rage Against the Dying Light, Nostalgia for Board Books, and the Guy Who Leaves Those Used Stickers On
The Fake News Roundup--Yeehaw!
Hello, good sirs and pleasant ladies. This is the day that Lord Byron has made.
Our top story is about the probable serial killer who leaves those yellow “used” stickers on all of his books and what to do if you encounter him.
We also tackle RATM’s newest opponent and sit down with a toddler who is feeling nostalgic for board books.
Lights, cameras, achtung!
After coming up with a loss in their long war with the Machine, the alternative rock metal band has now waged a second underdog attack on another insurmountable foe: the dying of the light from Dylan Thomas' poem 'Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night.'
"We might have been a little over our heads in the last bout against the Machine. We truly didn't understand just how powerful the corporate military industrial complex really could be" said bassist Tom Commerford.
"We are hoping to get in there, and survive a few rounds with the Dying of the Light. If we can get a few early shots in on Death itself, I know Zach and the rest of the guys will feel a little satisfaction."
Dylan In The Name Of.
Things were so much simpler back then...
A middle-aged toddler wistfully thinking about the good ol' days has begun to revisit some of her favorite board books she read between the ages of 0-2.
Board book versions of classics like 'Chicka Chicka Boom Boom' and 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' were so much easier to be held, turned, stacked, and tossed. However, now that she is reading "picture books," things are getting a little more difficult and a lot more dangerous.
"While reading 'The Story of Ferdinand,' I accidentally dropped it on my foot. My still growing hands had difficulty keeping a grip on it," she cried.
And this isn't the only injury she has recently sustained. Last week, the girl excitedly went to turn a page and accidentally poked herself in the eye on the corner of Robert Munsch's 'I Love You Forever.'
"Who knew reading could be so dangerous," she pensively observed.
Total sicko...
So you meet a guy and he invites you back to his place, but when you start snooping around while he freshens up, you realize what you have done...stepped into the lair of a serial killer.
How do you know? All of his books still have the yellow "used" sticker on the spine.
When he re-enters the room you immediately try to make an excuse as to why you have to leave, but he locks the door, grabs something from over your shoulder, and... starts reading his favorite short story from a Literature Anthology he had to read in college.
Fight for your life!