There is no love lost for the French on the world stage, that is no secret. In fact, they might actually be the most annoying country in the world.
The stereotypes about the French are endless and often true. They’re all cowards, they talk weird, they're rude. Sometimes the facts just can't be debated.
However, the French aren't all bad. Some of their classic authors are responsible for some of the most important and thought-provoking literature in the world. The French are responsible for two huge literary movements that changed literature forever.
The first, the post-Revolution Romantic Revival and second, the embracing of the philosophy of existential thought within their 20th century works. There is no denying the importance of these literary movements and authors all over the world are still finding inspiration in their poetry and prose.
So yes, while French authors might be revered in the world of literature, there is still something about them that rubs readers the wrong way. Is it their air of self-importance? Their confusing literary output that makes you feel stupid? How about the fact that they are always surrounded by heavy cigarette smoke?
Perhaps I'm just a dumb American who just doesn't get it. Or is it more that their cultural elitism oozes out of every French pore like their vicious BO?
Whatever it is, it's time to call out these French authors for their pompous pretension, their snidely self-importance.
Here goes...
First off, why are all of your book titles lowercase? À la recherche du temps perdu. That shit pisses us off. Is it a book or a sentence?
Second, your last name is fine without the accent aigu. I don't even know where to find that shit on my keyboard.
Third, are you novelists or critics? You either write novels or write about novels...you can't do both. And if you do choose to just write novels, try to keep that shit under 400 pages.
Fourth, if I have to read one more book about existentialism and the modern human condition I'm going to die of ennui.
Fifth, the only one of you motherfuckers who is even remotely cool is Alexandre Dumas, but let's be honest, that dude was Haitian.
There. Everyone is now better that this was said.
You're welcome, world.