Oedipus Finally Realizes the Truth: "It's Me. Hi. I'm the Problem. It's Me."
Now blinded, midnights become his afternoons.
Everybody's favorite riddle-solver, Oedipus, has come to a tragic realization: it was he who killed the old king, Laertes.
The anagnorisis comes just a little too late, right on the heels of a promise to find, curse, and punish the man responsible for committing the crime of regicide, summoning the Sphinx, and bringing a recent plague to the city of Thebes.
Oedipus took to TikTok to reveal his fault: It's him. Hi. He's the killer.
Oedipus should certainly not have been left to his own devices.
The realization came as he interviewed the shepherd responsible for his cruel fate: the man took pity on him and rescued him from certain death, delivering him to a neighboring city. Never realizing the truth of his past, he later set out to prevent an oracle's prediction: he would kill his father and marry his mother.
So even though Oedipus most definitely knew of this horrendous fortune, he still killed an old man on the way back to Thebes at a place Where Three Roads Meet. To reiterate, he could have just made a vow not to kill anyone ever thus avoiding the terrible prophecy, but he just had to kill this old guy who could have been right around his father’s age.
Oedipus should certainly not have been left to his own devices.
And along with realizing that he's killed his father, he's got to come to terms with the fact that he married his mother, had sex with her, and had kids with her. How about just seeing his mom naked? That's enough to make anyone gouge their eyes out.
A messenger reported the scene: "This motherfucker right here ran after Jocasta and bashed down the door so she could see what he had become. But it was too late--she had hanged herself. Life had lost all of its meaning."
He continued, “So he did what any normal guy would have done and stabbed his eyes with pins off her toga or something." He seemed incredulous and shrugged. "Yeah, for whatever reason she was wearing these knife looking shits perfect for stabbing eyes."
When asked if Jocasta knew the prophecy before she had children, he confirmed.
"Yeah, everyone knew the prophecy. Jocasta just shouldn't have had kids and it would have been fine. But Laertes and Jocasta just couldn't help bashing ass, I guess."
He added,"I mean, she was fine, too, so I get it."
Like the Messenger, the townspeople of Thebes are certainly disappointed to learn their savior is also their greatest enemy. A city mourns. It must be exhausting always rooting for the tragic hero.
After committing the horrendous act of taking his own eyes, Oedipus was banned from TikTok, shunned from the city, and forced into exile. And there he will stay...
The monster on the hill.