Man Will Never Read 'Women Talking' Because He Doesn't Like Women or Them Talking
Top Gun Shoulda Won, Too, He Complains.
A man who refuses to watch any movie nominated other than Top Gun: Maverick has also doubled-down on Miriam Toews novel Women Talking after the script based on the book won the award for Best Adapted Screenplay.
Not only do women bug him in general, but an entire story about them talking is more than he can stand.
"Women talk all the time, usually about shopping, their periods, or their diets, so I'm not going to subject myself to that sort of torture.”
The man is obviously just judging both the Toews book and the Sarah Polley film by its title. In fact, the story of Women Talking reveals much more than what the title leads on. Yes, there are “women talking” in the story, but both author and director use the women’s conversations as a deep dive into the corruption and treachery that lurks behind patriarchal-religious communities.
A community a man like this would thrive in, actually.
The man, who obviously has serious misogyny issues (Mom didn't love him enough or do women just find him fat and intolerable?) just won’t give a movie like that the time of day.
“I spent the last three years of my life listening to ‘women talking’ before finally kicking my mouthy ex-wife to the curb.”
Of course the man is divorced. The fact that he was ever able to even find a woman who would be intimate with him or tolerate him for even three years is surprising.
He also thinks Top Gun should have won every category. The man had to be reminded Top Gun was only being nominated for six categories.
He also thinks Top Gun should have won every category. The man had to be reminded Top Gun was only being nominated for six categories.
"Still, Top Gun got robbed!" he shouts into his phone while recording a video for Facebook, his sunglasses draped around the back of his head a la Guy Fieri.
“It didn’t win because Hollywood couldn’t stand the thought of a white man winning at the Oscars! We are being replaced!”
The man had to be reminded that neither Tom Cruise or the film’s director Joseph Kosinski were nominated, so there was no way they could win awards. If it makes him feel any better, five white men did win the award for Best Sound: Mark Wiengarten, James H. Mather, Al Nelson, Chris Burdon, and Mark Taylor all accepted awards on the film’s behalf.
Also, literally dozens of white men also won other awards for other films.
Still, the man still maintains that the film should have won Best Adapted Screenplay, because you know, just making a sequel is really, really hard.
But when asked if he will give Women Talking a chance, the man said he won't watch or read any of that "chick shit," he said. In fact, the man doesn't get down with reading in general because he thinks "it's too gay."
“The only thing I read is The Art of the Deal and Bill O’Reilly’s books,” said the man.
Despite the man’s obstinance, we still recommend Women Talking, a fascinating story based on actual events that transpired in a Mennonite community, where women woke up to discover that they had been raped in their sleep by male members of the community.
“Wait, what now?” the man said, his interest peaked.
Ummm….
The book gets its title from the conversation that 8 different women from the community have surrounding the decision to forgive the rapists (a decision being pressured from the religious leaders) or excommunicate them. However, any woman who does not forgive will find herself excommunicated. The book and the film are both extremely engaging and intense, and the man might learn a little something.
But he was only half-listening now. He was on his phone, researching the what kind of chemical spray the Molotschna men used to sedate the women.
"Maybe I'll check this out," he said.
That’s not what we meant by learn a little something.