Langston Hughes, Ghostwriters, and Why the Eagles Couldn't Fly to Mordor
A Fake Literary Roundup Just For You
Today’s top story covers the President’s unprompted explanation as to why the eagles couldn’t just fly to Mordor.
But first, Langston Hughes finds himself on another list while James Patterson’s ghostwriting system has been categorized as human trafficking.
Let’s get into it.
An African-American Communist Sympathizer?
DOUBLE BLACK LIST!
Leading Harlem Renaissance poet and activist Langston Hughes has been called to testify in front of the House Committee of Un-American Activities. Committee members plan to ask him about his communist dealings and why he is black.
The HUAC began questioning other authors, poets, actors, and other prominent witnesses late last evening, asking "Are you or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party," and "Are you or have you ever listened to Jazz at the Cotton Club?"
As a result of withholding information from the committee, Langston Hughes has been placed on the Double Black List, a secret and exclusive list reserved for the "reddest" and blackest in the entertainment industry.
Palm Beach Police said they arrested a man during a human trafficking enforcement operation in West Palm Beach.
A task force in collaboration with The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services says James Patterson is charged with involuntary servitude, a Class 4 felony.
Police said in a news release that the operation on Wednesday “focused on identifying individuals who compel others into the commercial ghost writing industry through force fraud and coercion, while also offering resources to victims of human trafficking that are encountered.”
The Department of Homeland Security defines human trafficking as “the use of force, fraud, or coercion to compel a person into commercial labor, or services against their will.”
Patterson usually lures his victims by giving them a co-writer credit, but sometimes does not even mention them at all and promises them promotion within his publishing company. This leads ghostwriters into a vicious indentured cycle, from which there is no escape.
"Folks, one does not simply fly to Mordor..."
For some reason during a press conference last night, President Joe Biden began to voluntarily explain why "they just didn't ride the eagles."
There are literally thousands of apologist fansites that already explain why the Fellowship of the Ring didn't just fly on eagles to Mt. Doom, ranging from Gwaihair's aloofness to the logistics of eagles holding rings in their claws.
But Mr. Biden gave the most rational, albeit completely spontaneous, explanation during a lull in his speech: "Let's put it this way...there is NO epic fantasy story if the Fellowship rides upon eagles!"