A ghostwriter responsible for some of James Patterson's most contemptible novels recently passed away, but his soul was damned to eternal perdition: he must spend the rest of his time in the best-selling author's employ.
What started as a dream job will now become this writer's eternal nightmare.
What started as a dream job will now become this writer's eternal nightmare.
While alive, the writer thought nothing of being employed by Patterson, churning out drivel the equivalent of literary greenhouse gasses, thinking nothing of the pollution that he put out into the world.
The fate of all Patterson's ghost writers is roughly the same ever since he signed a deal with the devil for the cursed souls of most of his payroll. His staff, who often foolishly see working for Patterson a stepping-stone, rarely read the "fine print" of their contracts, blindly signing away their chances of everlasting rest.
Some of his worst offenses, from The Beach House to The Thomas Berryman Number, scored this struggling writer some pretty nice paydays. But now he is stuck here on earth, forever to roam the writer's room… this wraith must now pay for his sins.
His fate will be set to constantly write Alex Cross novels on what will seem like an endless loop, forever chained to the desk sludging through banal plotlines and cliched conflicts until the Rapture. Then and only then, his soul might finally find peace and be set free thousands of years from now.
However, the ghost will be given a chance to right the wrongs of his perfunctory literary life and possibly be granted entrance into heaven if he can accomplish a hopeless task: haunt the current staff of slick, well-paid ghostwriters until they change their ways and start writing some serious literature.
It won't be easy--Patterson gets many of his ghostwriters from Eastern Europe and many of them are scared and vulnerable, and easily manipulated by him. Many fall prey to his false promises to take care of them and their families, while many fear for their lives or the lives of their loved ones back home.
Some of them are already so dead inside that they no longer care what happens to them. Some of them are so lost and abused already that they actually enjoy their jobs.
One ghostwriter who wished to remain anonymous was hesitant to speak to us but finally relented. She said that the conditions inside these writer's rooms are deplorable and many of them feel shame for the acts they commit within them.
"Things got so bad for me that I actually found myself writing for James Patterson Kids, his young adult imprint. With these hands I've actually written Middle School Winter Blunderland and Treasure Hunters: Secrets of the Forbidden City,” she wept.
"I don't think there is any salvation for me," she wailed.
If the ghost wants any chance of being set free, he is going to have to shake many of the ghostwriters out of their apathy and set them on the right path to tasteful literary output, if they even know what that means anymore.
Another ghostwriter, this time contractually having to stay anonymous, was very open to speak about her experiences writing for James Patterson, and was even proud of the work she did on The Cornwalls Vanish, part of the Amy Cornwall series.
"James is a great guy, a really talented storyteller actually, and he let me use a lot of my own ideas and gave me the freedom to make a lot of the decisions that steered the rest of the series."
He's screwed. There might be no saving her.