Fascinating: Library Book Checked Out to Student Somehow Damaged Itself

Plus, The Latest Fad Diet and Sleeping Through Audiobooks Still Counts as Reading Them

Hello, readers.

I know very little about AI, but what I do know, I’ve learned from movies.

The running joke on the internet right now is that things will eventually turn into Terminator 2: Judgement Day, with AI software becoming so powerful it will create a robot horde of T800s to try and take over the world.

I come across memes that have Sarah and John Conner staring coldly at you for making friends with corporate AI models.

There are even ones which show people being nice to AI chats so that when they take over the world, they will be spared.

Perhaps that last one isn’t a bad idea. Like any primitive people coming into contact with a superpower they don’t understand, it’s best to just hedge a bet and pledge a little allegiance to the next great and powerful god.

Aside from using it casually here and there, I think most people don’t really understand what AI is or how it works. During the most recent AI boom, perhaps you asked Craiyon AI to create some horrific image for you or you even updated your resume using ChatGPT.

Plagiarize an essay, glow up your Facebook selfie…pretty harmless, really.

But there is something more nefarious taking place behind the scenes at these companies that help develop this AI technology—so since there is no real regulation on this thing yet, a company like DeepSeek (a Chinese AI startup) was able to essentially steal the OpenAI language model.

I’m reminded of The Princess Bride, when Vizzini tells Wesley “You’re trying to kidnap what I’ve rightfully stolen.”

Here’s the thing, though. DeepSeek is able to do the same thing as OpenAI, but can do it at a fraction of the cost. Not only that, but it also uses significantly less computational power than its competitors. For a little rundown on DeepSeek, you can read this article from tom’s guide here.

Now you might think “who cares” or “it’s all fair in love and comprehensive data theft,” but this spells trouble for what has essentially become an arms race.

And this exactly is the problem: nobody cares. This is America, and Americans will flock to the cheaper, easier, and sometimes better product. We don’t care if it has been stolen because our entire identity as Americans is tied to theft (remember smallpox blankets, the shady sale of New York for 24$, or the Removal Act?)

When we go to the grocery store, we don’t care that Stop N’ Shop makes its own copycat Cheeto as long as they’re a few bucks cheaper. On the web, an Instagram thief will steal a meme from Reddit and pass it off as their own, but we’ll share it (or steal it for ourselves) without thinking who the true author is. The same goes for about every good or service in our society that I can imagine.

But I have bigger issues with AI companies aside from the zero regulation, the illegal use of books/movies/websites to educate the language models, and the transmission of personal data to servers located in China. But let’s be honest—I don’t think the Chinese government is going surveil and use my personal information all because I used DeepSeek to help me spell check or put a cool background on a photo.

My biggest problem with AI models is the large carbon footprint and metric ton-consumption of carbon dioxide. The explosion and growth of AI companies means a larger environmental impact, an issue that is never spoken about and often forgotten. We frivolously use GPT-3 to create a weekly routine for our families or to put three boobs on a picture of Trump without thinking of the carbon cost. It’s an unnecessary amount of waste for things that we could do with a little bit of thought and brainpower or the free software Pixlr (email me for the template of the three-boob Trump).

I am happy that DeepSeek claims they can do what the other companies do with significantly less computing power and energy, and this ultimately means that it can do it with a smaller carbon footprint and less cooling systems in data centers. But haven’t we seen this story before? One needs to look no further than the documentary Who Killed the Electric Car? to see how this could potentially play out. Spoiler alert: it was Big Business and their cronies in the federal government who killed it. Surprise!

American AI companies will tear a page right from the TikTok playbook and despite optimized algorithms and less-power hungry hardware, they will claim that China is using it to spy and exploit us.

The only companies who should be able to steal, sell, or transmit our user data should be American, okay? It’s what we do. It’s in our blood.

Anyways…

Our top story is about how a library book was able to damage itself while in the care of a middle-school student.

Also, we talk to the guy who says sleeping through an audiobook still counts as reading.

Finally, we breakdown the latest in celebrity fad diets and this one is inspired by the habits of 80s Stephen King.

“Late last night and the night before, tommyknockers, tommyknockers knocking on your door…

Ain't no going back...

A local man who fell asleep listening to an audiobook woke up in the morning and realizing that it was now 100% finished, marked the book as "read."

The man used the Libby app to finally listen to "Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow" but there was no way he was going to try to rewind it and find the last place he could remember.

Instead of starting all over again or "taking the L" by marking it as "Unread," the man is just going to pretend he read it but didn't like it. He is currently drafting his one-star review.

"The beginning was great but I'm not sure if the main characters showed any growth. The ending wasn't really memorable and I'm not sure if all of it really made sense in the end. There was a long period of time where it didn't even hold my attention."

The latest celebrity fad diet...

When choosing a new eating plan, it is important that you choose a diet that is easy to stick to, is scientifically backed, and has lasting effects. It helps if the diet is delicious, nutritious, and easy to stick to.

That is why a number of people are flocking to the "Stephen King diet," consisting of nothing but beer, Nyquil, and a few tabs of Xanax. A few cigs and some lines of coke here and there for added good measure.

"I've tried everything," said admitted yo-yo weight gainer Michael Addison, "but this one is really easy to commit to." He was drinking from a Listerine bottle as we interviewed him. He shrugged sheepishly. "It's allowed."

In just a few weeks, you too will be able to bang out a 600-page horror novel over a weekend to lukewarm critical review.

What do you mean I'm still responsible?

In an event that could only be described as supernatural, it seems a book in the possession of a student at Kingston Middle School in Kingston, NY has done the impossible and somehow damaged itself.

The uncanny situation occurred after being overdue for two whole months. When questioned further, the student added that he "didn't know how it could have done that to itself" and "yes, he does believe in magic."

When the parents were contacted about paying for the damages, they too seemed astonished that a book could possibly do that to itself, but hey, books can be kind of crazy sometimes. When asked if they think their son might have had a hand in its damage, they said they did not think it was possible.

School administrators were also contacted and are just as amazed as the student and parents. They assured all parties involved that they will conduct a thorough investigation into any other paranormal activity that might or might not be occurring with the rest of the library books. For now, they will close the library just to prevent any other students from getting a book that might somehow self-destruct.