Distraction Alert: Cat Feet Preventing Writer From Getting Any Work Done
Photos of Those Little Beans and Boots
It’s a tale as old as time…
There you are sitting on your computer trying to get some writing done when along comes a little clickbait article on the cutest cat feet on the internet.
You might as well just click out of whatever word-processor program you are using because we are going to be here for awhile.
After looking at the article, you click on Images and notice 30,000+ cat feet photos just sitting there waiting to be accessed. Damn you, Unsplashed!
After looking at the article, you click on Images and notice 30,000+ cat feet photos just sitting there waiting to be accessed. Damn you, Unsplashed!
To make matters worse, there’s an entire article on how “paw reading” is the newest cat trend in Japan. Sugoi!
Fortunately those who have overcome this kitten k-hole have developed some methods for overcoming this debilitating state of writer’s atrophy.
Go find your cat. C’mon, don’t pretend like you don’t have one. You’re single and you work somewhere in the publishing industry. And if you don’t work in publishing, you are an English teacher writing a manuscript on your weekends. There’s a cat somewhere in that apartment! Go find him (he’s probably hiding from you because you overstimulated him last time you interacted). Find his little paws buried under the blanket and feel those little pink jelly beans between your forefinger and thumb…now stick the whole paw in your mouth (not weird at all).
While gumming your cat’s paw might hold you over for a few minutes, there’s no way that has cured your distraction. You need more! Experts recommend you get a quick fix by watching a short video on the history of polydactyl cats. Did you know it’s a genetic mutation? Did you know there are over 50 of these types of cats living at Hemingway’s house in Key West? You can go there and pet them!
If that isn’t the cure for what ails you, you should also start drawing cat feet in some sort of paint program on your computer. Pinterest has dozens of tutorials, chock with step-by-step visuals. There’s even one that will teach you how to draw them at different angles. This might get the juices flowing and inspire you to write, or inspire you to invest in a better mouse so you can really dig into the details next time you doodle.
You could also conquer by creativity. Start making some little socks or booties for your cat using any cloth or material that you have lying around the house. We recommend cutting the fingers off of large sized cotton or gardening gloves. You could also use old socks or material from a grocery sack. While this won’t help you with your writing, you might realize that you have a knack for kitty sock cobbeling. Hey, it might be more lucrative than trying to become an author.
Educate yourself. It’s time to learn about cat breeds (black or white cat isn’t a breed). You need to learn the difference between a Persian and a Ragdoll, an Abyssinian and a Scottish Fold. You never know when you will reuse this information (hey you might join the team of authors known as Erin Hunter, who exclusively write cat fantasy fiction).
Develop a support system. You now realize one cat just isn’t enough. The next step is to go on Petfinder or your local humane society website and start assembling your squad. Lenora is an adult domestic short hair 1 mile away. Huckleberry is a young domestic long hair about 3 miles away. Don’t forget about Colonel Mustard! He’s a senior siamese and he’ll probably be destroyed unless you adopt him right now! And yes, you can adopt all three, you have plenty of room and love to give. Just think about how next time you get distracted, you’ll get to writing that much quicker after you go around the house and kiss all 16 of your cat’s little feetsies.
Now that you’ve fully gone off the deep end, you probably have a few minutes left in your day to start writing. Remember, pressure is good and forcing yourself to get something on the page is a great technique for overcoming writer’s block.
See, we helped you. Find what works for you and honor the process. Don’t allow the negative voice in your head to stop you from spending the entire time you have carved out for writing obsessing about cats and their wittle, itty bitty pads.
Just think, some of the greatest writers in the world had cats, even though they weren’t a freak like you and were probably a little productive here and there.
But before you go, look at this.
Aah, a little cat paw with painted nails! Num num num num num…