Gabriel Garcia Marquez is feeling the ennui. In fact he's been so down lately that he has removed himself from society and taken to drowning his sorrows in several cases of suds.
In what some are calling a dangerous and perhaps impossible feat, Marquez says he will drink 100 Beers in Solitude in an attempt to capture happiness and overcome the soul-crushing malaise of modern life.
"The journey will be physical, then mental, and ultimately spiritual. At one point in my drunken reverie, I might even be visited by one or two ghosts. Either that or I will just be suffering from alcohol poisoning."
What drove Marquez to such low and savage depths? Some say it was depression suffered under the cruel regime of dictator Augustin Pinochet. Others say it was poor sales and mixed reviews from his banned novel Memories of My Melancholy Whores, about a 90 year old man who has sex with a 14 year old prostitute.
Marquez will withdraw himself from society like José Arcadio Buendía, a character from the first generation of the legendary city of Macondo in his novel 100 Years of Solitude.
But instead of completely shunning the outside world like Buendia, Marquez has invited the world's top macro and micro breweries to his residence so they could stock his fridge with everything from lagers and ales to sours and stouts.
"If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right," he muttered.
Once he has his beer list in order, Marquez will the drink in complete solitude, unconnected from the trials and tribulations of reality.
"I will start with the light stuff like pilsners, and then moved onto the IPAs. Then some amber ales, and then the really dark stuff, like barleywine and porter. Then the final beers will be some that I have on my bucket list for a while. My friend actually got me a Pliny the Elder."
He continued: "The journey will be physical, then mental, and ultimately spiritual. At one point in my drunken reverie, I might even be visited by one or two ghosts. Either that or I will just be suffering from alcohol poisoning."
"But in those last few sips, I hope to feel a great energy around me, as the wisdom of my ancestors, forefathers, and master brewers consume me. Then, a great windstorm will start around me and my insides will brew… as I finish the final sip, out will pour all that I had previously consumed, scoured from my stomach."
"I will hurl," he clarified. "But feel completely lucid."
Despite any positive results Marquez might want to get from this sudsy suicide mission, health professionals dispute his claims and warn that his predicted results will not be typical.
“Anyone attempting this will surely die,” said one medical doctor.
Regardless, the endeavor has gone viral, with many turning these miserable moments from Marquez's melancholy into a drinking game. Challengers drink 100 beers over a weekend in a nonstop, therapeutic game of binge and purge.
Those who have attempted the legendary drinking challenge have reported to come out on the other side feeling refreshed and cleansed; their minds clear yet but their beer bellies full.