College Student Ostracized for Mispronouncing Goethe

Plus, Nora Roberts and Terry Goodkind's 'Sword of Truth' Series

Just when you think they can’t go any lower…

Right-wingers spent the weekend blaming the current administration for engineering the weather phenomena known as hurricanes, but doubled down on their outlandish, baseless, and hairbrained attacks when they also started blaming Biden for the storm that blows over the windmill in Animal Farm, the lightning in Lolita, and the snow in James Joyce’s “The Dead.”

Also in his six days of lying about Hurricane Helene response, Donald Trump also invented false and unsubstantiated claims about the Scylla and Charybdis in “The Odyssey.”

“Kamala wined and dined in San Francisco, and all of the sailors on Odysseus’ boat — no helicopters, no rescue — it’s just — what’s happened there is very bad.”

Anyways…

Our top story is about a college student who mispronounced Goethe in a conversation with her literary friends in a Comparative Lit Course.

Also, wedding bells for the woman who reads Nora Roberts and the guy who reads J.D. Robb.

And finally, a man abuses the Barnes and Noble Cafe when he settles in to read all 22 books “Sword of Truth” series.

Pssst! They are the same author!

An avid Nora Roberts reader just tied the knot with a longtime J.D. Robb reader in a ceremony that luckily didn't end “In Death” but with a “Dance Upon the Air.”

Meeting at a book club, the groom admitted he didn't even know Roberts, the beloved bestselling author, was also the author of the “In Death” crime series.

"We hit it off right away" beamed the bride, who was truly a “Vision in White.” 

"When he found out his beloved J.D. Robb was also the author of over 200 romance novels, he wasn't too thrilled. But after our first few dates we found that our favorite books had so much in common!"

Has the groom ever read one of Roberts's other titles, say Come Sundown or Stars of Fortune?

"I don't think he can handle the chick lit, honestly. Might be a little too complex for him."

Might be here a while...

A man who seems to have confused his living room with the Barnes and Noble Cafe is going to just "live his best life" and read Terry Goodkind's entire Sword of Truth series.

Regardless of how many people are just looking for a quick table to finish their coffee or nibble a muffin, this man is just going to spread on out like he fucking owns the joint. And you know what, when he's done with Sword of Truth he might move onto Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time.

When asked why he doesn't relocate to the public library, the man doesn't give immediate recognition and just decides to sip on his free water from the bathroom while reading the fantasy series that screams he's never been laid. 

It happens…

A college student was immediately shunned by her group of friends after accidentally pronouncing the author's name as "GO-thuh." The student definitely has it coming, because everyone who knows how to read knows it's pronounced "GUR-tuh."

Gur-Duh.

The moment in question occurred during a Comparative Lit course, where the student narrowly missed a previous linguistic faux paux when she said "storm and drain" instead of "Sturm und Drang." From there, the student was never really able to regain her credibility.

Knowing what might come next, the professor tried to steer her away from contributing to the discussion anymore, but the student just broke up with her boyfriend and really connected with 'The Sorrows of Young Werther' and just had to mention the author's epistolary style...

And that's when gaucherie struck.