Authors to Enter Rehab, but Beer Olympics First

One Last Job

Families of famous authors William Faulkner, John Steinbeck, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Ernest Hemingway got together to intervene on their beloved patriarchs and confront them once and for all about their drinking problems.

All authors agreed to enter rehab....but not before they entered in one final BEER OLYMPICS!!!

The fellas entered the University of Texas' annual Beer Olympics as the Fun-tastic Four, where each author entered to anchor a specific event for their team after the initial group event of the Shotgun Relay.

Team Captain Papa Hemingway took over the Volume Chug, while Faulkner and Fitz dominated in Pong. Steinbeck took over the Marathon Keg stand duties, bringing them into the finals against the reigning champs, The Dirty Downers.

After a spirited game of Survivor Flip Cup, the Fun-tastic Four took the Downers down, each winning a cherished Longhorn drinking receptacle which will be placed front and center in the trophy cases, next to Book Awards, Pulitzers, and Nobel Prizes.

After the fellas posed for pictures and did their signature "high four," they all went their separate ways, vanishing into the moonlight and set to enter the respective rehab facility of their choosing.

But before he could part and with a wink in his eye, Hemingway asked the event organizers, "Same time next year?"