Author Just Rawdogging Novel With No Help From Computer or AI

Plus, The House of Usher Lawsuit and Lewis Carroll Arrested!

Hello, readers.

I’m not sure what is going on with Kanye West. Last time I left him, he was running for President in some attempt at a weird flex and making next-to-unlistenable music with Donda and Donda 2.

But apparently, he’s back (we have a collab with Ty Dolla Sign to thank) and he was nominated for a Grammy this year for Best Rap Song. Thankfully, Kendrick Lamar won, and rightfully so.

But Kanye, who is so good at making it all about him, was able to make it all about him. And this time in the creepiest way possible.

His appearance on the red carpet seemed extremely staged, and he and his naked wife/girlfriend/thing/who-knows turned more heads leading up to the show than Jaden Smith who was wearing the entire set from Game of Thrones on his head.

Needless to say, between all the antics and the naked wife stuff, this is getting a little old. This is a tired act by a desperate man trying to shock himself back into relevance.

First, there was a ton of misinformation about Kanye’s appearance this year, and I assume most of it was manufactured to draw attention to himself and grab headlines.

The earliest report I saw said that Kanye had been kicked out of the Grammys (which was not true). Then it was reported that he wasn’t kicked out, but that there wasn’t a seat for him or Bianca Sensori.

How is that possible?

According to a Grammys producer, every nominee is invited to the ceremony unless there is some outstanding criminal case against them or some other weird reason why the Grammys wouldn’t want you there. Needless to say, Kanye doesn’t have a great track record at that particular awards show.

But there has been no official report from the Grammys stating that Kanye West wasn’t invited. Also, there was no word if Kanye was at Pre-Tel, the part of the show where they quickly hand out all the awards that won’t be part of the actual televised show.

Later, one article from US Weekly confirmed that Kanye did not have an “official seat” but then later backtracked to clarify that he did not have a role in the main telecast so therefore did not have VIP access.

Still no official word or confirmation that he and Censori did not actually have a seat, but c’mon, do the staff at Crypto.com Arena really want to scrub down the seat once his wife leaves?

All of this drama about seats and invites is speculation. What we do know is that after the red carpet appearance, Kanye and Censori got into his car (I guarantee it was some shitty reflective-sticker skinned Cybertruck) and took off to do God knows what (maybe find Censori some actual sensible or fashionable clothes?)

This leads me to believe that Kanye did not actually intend to attend the Grammys and was just looking to generate some heat, to use a wrestling industry term. This means that Kanye was actively attempting to elicit a strong negative reaction by playing the role of a villain ("heel") and performing actions that make the audience boo or intensely dislike him; essentially, getting the crowd to actively react against you with anger or frustration.

He must be taking promotional notes from his fuck-buddy Trump.

Isn’t it a coincidence then that not moments after Kanye sputtered away from the red carpet that he announced he is starting some shitty clothing line? The next day, he even leaked music from his own new album Bully and set a release date.

It’s no wonder that Bianca Censori was there and dressed the way she was. In a spot so rehearsed it almost looked like an actual entrance from bad pro-wrestling, Kanye stood off to the side while Censori turned away from cameras and dropped her fur coat. She then turned to cameras for her big reveal, while Kanye frowned like some sort of surly bouncer at a strip club.

She appeared to be fully naked but was actually wearing some blurred out pasty undergarments because she was too chickenshit to go all the way.

Here’s what the front actually looked like.

Yawn. What a stunt. I’ve seen better staging at a Ryan Reynolds paparazzi outing in New York.

Plus, you see better outfits and choreography at the entrances of the bridesmaids and groomsmen at weddings these days.

Then after all of the fake news stories about getting kicked out and not having seats, Kanye revealed the point of all of this on Instagram: show off his naked wife and her clothes so that people would Google them.

He wrote, ““For clarity, my wife is the most Googled person on the planet called Earth. WE BEAT THE GRAMMIES.” Ugh.

In an article on Esquire, an insider source told The Sun that “Ye always planned to do the red carpet and leave—he’d never sit through the Grammys because it’s so dull and boring.”

So there you have it, folks. A pre-planned brief appearance with his possibly-exploited wife so he could sell some “not underwear” and clog up your feed with some bullshit.

And can we talk about Censori for a moment? Is she okay? Does she need help? Is she involved in some sort of trafficking thing against her will? Can she blink or flop her booby if she needs assistance?

I’m not sure what her role is in all of this. I know that Kanye is so delusional that he thinks he is making great art with his crummy music and questionable lifestyle choices, and the gimmick with Censori is probably just an accessory to all of the funhouse antics and madman mayhem.

Their relationship is very strange and I’m not quite sure what Censori gets romantically out of it. She obviously gets a lot of attention being Kanye’s arm candy but at the end of the day when she’s at home, taking off her not clothes, and she looks in the mirror and sees Kanye’s chubby, fatass on the corner of the bed texting Elon Musk and Googling himself, is she happy?

I could ask the same thing of Melania. Funny how Kanye and Trump lead such parallel lives.

Anyways…

Our top story is about a writer who is rawdogging her novel without the help from a computer. Holy shit.

Also, the first lawsuit looms against the contractor who built the House of Usher.

Finally, Lewis Carroll was arrested gibbering about a jabberwock and in possession of a vorpal blade in connection with the deaths of several prostitutes. Snicker-snack, indeed.

Callooh, callay, dear reader. Callooh, callay.

A lawyer representing the Usher estate will pursue legal action against the contracting company that built the House of Usher.

Do they have a good case? Yeah, I'd say so.

Martin Vorten, Esq of Vorten and Brusque will handle the lawsuit.

Vorten plans to sue on the terms of contract formation, breach of contract, performance, and damages, however, the entirety of the case relies on one particular building flaw:

"Normally, a house should not crack to the point where it splits in two and sinks into a lake," he reasoned.

A sword-wielding Lewis Carroll was picked up in the small town of Guildford carrying a weapon known only as the vorpal blade. The children's author was blood-spattered, muttering unintelligibly to himself when he was arrested.

"When we arrived on the scene, Mr. Carroll could not stop speaking about something called the Jabberwocky," said Constable Warren. "He claimed to have just returned from an inverted world where he battled a Bandersnatch."

After following up on his previous whereabouts, the Chief Inspector discovered at least 15 dead women at a local knocking-shop called "Wonderland," a house of prostitution. Several alleged prostitutes were either partially or fully decapitated after Carroll reportedly entered shouting Callooh! Callay! before going on his murderous rampage.

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

Is that person WRITING!?

An author has decided to take an unconventional approach to a novel, deciding to just use something like a pencil in an attempt to write words to make meaning on a piece of paper in a journal.

She calls it "rawdogging" and she is not using a computer, word processor, or AI to help her write her book.

"I had a really great, fully-formed idea for this novel, and I don't even need Wikipedia to quickly teach myself something about my subject matter," she gloated in the cafe.

Other authors around her are stunned by her ability to spell words correctly and string together coherent thoughts to make sentences. "Fucking Bill Shakespeare over here," muttered one witness looking for an outlet to plug into.